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The Spirit of “Nice but Nasty”
We all know that woman. The one who smiles at you but under her breath says, “She only has that because of her husband.” She’s the one who tries to dress it up as a compliment, but the undertone is clear — envy. I call them Nice but Nasty ladies.
And to them, I say with love but with truth: Don’t get mad because you didn’t marry a winner.
See, here’s the thing: A Woman of High-Value doesn’t waste her energy tearing down another woman’s blessings. She pays attention. She celebrates. She upgrade. She recognizes that another woman’s shine doesn’t take away her glow.
Let me make this plain: Being bitter about someone else’s wins will never create your own.
The Bible gives us story after story of what happens when women honor each other instead of competing with each other. It also shows us what happens when jealousy and comparison take root. So today, let’s break this all the way down — because God didn’t call His daughters to be mean ladies, He called us to be builders, influencers, and kingdom women who make an impact that lasts.
The Dangerous Spirit of Comparison
We live in a comparison-driven culture. Social media has amplified it — scrolling, judging, comparing, and sometimes throwing shade behind keyboards. But comparison isn’t new. It’s as old as Cain and Abel, as toxic as Sarah and Hagar’s tension, as messy as Leah and Rachel’s rivalry.
The Bible says in James 3:16: “For where envy and strife is, there is confusion and every evil work.”
Catch that — envy doesn’t just bring bad vibes. It births confusion and opens the door for evil to operate. When we allow ourselves to get bitter about another woman’s success, marriage, business, or blessings, we’re not just hurting her with our words. We’re blocking our own flow.
The truth is, bitterness has never birthed blessings.
Instead, Ruth declared: “Where you go, I will go; and where you stay, I will stay. Your people will be my people and your God my God.” (Ruth 1:16)
Ruth didn’t get jealous of Naomi’s past life, or compare her own situation, or resent her mother-in-law’s losses. She chose honor. She chose alignment. And because she honored, God opened the door for her harvest. Ruth didn’t just meet Boaz — she became the great-grandmother of King David and part of the lineage of Jesus.
Here’s the revelation: Sometimes your blessing is tied to the woman you choose to honor instead of envy. Instead of tearing her down, walk with her. Learn from her. Your destiny may be connected to her wisdom.
Elizabeth & Mary – Rejoicing in Each Other’s Miracle
Let’s talk about Elizabeth and Mary. Two women, two miraculous pregnancies. Elizabeth was old, barren for years, and finally carrying John the Baptist. Mary was young, unmarried, and carrying the Son of God.
You’d think jealousy could’ve easily crept in. Elizabeth could’ve said, “Why does she get to carry the Messiah when I’ve waited my whole life for this one miracle?” Mary could’ve said, “Elizabeth doesn’t understand my shame or my calling.”
But no — that’s not what happened.
Luke 1:41 says: “When Elizabeth heard Mary’s greeting, the baby leaped in her womb, and Elizabeth was filled with the Holy Spirit.”
Did you catch that? When real sisterhood shows up, what’s inside of you leaps. Elizabeth’s joy wasn’t diminished by Mary’s miracle — it was activated.
Here’s Our Lesson: High-Value Women rejoice in each other’s wins. They understand that another woman’s miracle doesn’t cancel their own. A true sister doesn’t compete, she collaborates.
The Proverbs 31 Woman – Secure in Her Own Glow
Then there’s the Proverbs 31 woman — the blueprint. She is clothed with strength and dignity. She rises early, runs her household, builds businesses, invests, gives generously, and her husband praises her at the gates.
But notice something:
The Proverbs 31 woman isn’t busy tearing down another woman’s looks, marriage, or business. She’s too focused on building her own.
Proverbs 31:27 says: “She watches over the affairs of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness.”
That means she minds her own business and keeps it moving. A High-Value Woman doesn’t have time to be a mean girl because her hands are too full of purpose.
Application: When you’re secure in your own glow, you don’t dim someone else’s. You know who you are, and you know Whose you are.
How NOT to Be a Mean Girl
Let’s get practical. Here’s how NOT to operate as a “Nice but Nasty” woman:
1. Celebrate another woman’s glow.
Her shine doesn’t dim yours. When you clap for her, God knows He can trust you to handle your own blessings with grace.
2. Ask how she did it, not why she has it.
Envy asks “why her?” Humility asks “how can I learn from her?”
3. Focus on building your own table.
Stop trying to flip someone else’s table. Build your own! Lydia, in Acts 16, was a businesswoman who opened her home and became a kingdom influencer. She didn’t tear others down — she created space.
4. Remember: Envy is loud, but class is quiet.
Proverbs 14:1 reminds us: “The wise woman builds her house, but with her own hands the foolish one tears hers down.”
The Spiritual Cost of Envy vs. The Fruit of Honor
Let’s keep it 100 — envy costs too much.
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Galatians 5:19–21 warns us that jealousy, fits of rage, and selfish ambition are works of the flesh.
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Proverbs 14:30 says: “A heart at peace gives life to the body, but envy rots the bones.”
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But 1 Samuel 2:30 declares: “Those who honor Me I will honor.”
When you honor instead of envy, you position yourself for God’s promotion.
Women Who Support Always Win Bigger
Ruth honored Naomi → She became part of the lineage of Jesus.
Elizabeth celebrated Mary → She got filled with the Spirit.
The Proverbs 31 woman built → Her children and husband praised her.
It’s clear: Women who support women always win bigger.
Because here’s the truth: Sisterhood is not a competition — it’s a kingdom collaboration.
Conclusion: A Call to Be an Influencer of Change
So to every “Nice but Nasty” lady who feels the urge to throw shade — stop. You’re not hurting her, you’re holding yourself back.
A Woman of High-Value doesn’t waste her time being bitter. She claps. She learns. She builds. She elevates.
Instead of gossiping about the woman God blessed, become the woman God can trust to bless.
The future belongs to women who celebrate, not compete. Women who lift, not tear down. Women who understand that their crown doesn’t lose its shine because another woman’s is glowing.
And as the Influencer of Change, I declare over you: Your time is coming. Your table is being set. Your glow is on the way. Don’t block it with bitterness. Prepare for it with class.
From the Office of Apostle LuGina
Thank you for taking the time to read and grow with me today. My heart is to empower men and women believers, emerging leaders, and anyone ready to rediscover their God-given identity and purpose.
Explore more in my books — written to inspire, equip, and transform lives through the power of God’s Word:
- Strive: 👉 Keep Going
- Exhale Black Sheep: 👉 Strength to Live Again
- The Power of Your Thoughts & Words: 👉 Speak Life
Stay connected with me and my church family at El Shaddai Worship Assembly, where we are dedicated to Encountering God, Loving People, Leading in Purpose, and Changing Lives. Join us Sundays at 11 AM and Thursdays at 7 PM at 318 N. Church Street, Rockford, IL 61101 or visit https://elshaddaiworshipassembly.com.
🌐 More inspiration, blogs, and resources are always available on my website: https://luginachorton.com.
Together, let’s keep building, thriving, and walking boldly in the life God designed for us.
With love & purpose,
Apostle LuGina C. Horton
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