5 Reasons Men and Women Lack Self Worth

by | Aug 7, 2025 | Better Living

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“Life’s greatest transformations often begin with embracing new moments of self-discovery, for within it lies the power to take courage and have a conviction of unwavering faith in knowing, strength is not found in avoiding the journey, but in navigating it with an open heart to lead. ” – Pastor LuGina

Our negative ideas are one of the most severe challenges we encounter on our journey to self-empowerment. These subtle whispers of insecurity and condemnation can prevent us from reaching our fullest capacity of potential and leading lives that are fulfilled. However, by discovering how to confront and dominate these negative beliefs, we can open up possibilities for change and empowerment.

There was a time when the darkness of my skin was not beautiful.

Growing up in my neck of the woods. Light-skinned men and women were known to be the prizes to have in any given relationship. And don’t let them have hazel eyes it was over. Laughing to myself. For me, I stood in the background of my confidence and allowed the negative names people called me to be the face of my awareness. Yes, I walked with my head down and cried in private corners of dark rooms. I was afraid to answer to Pookie and be known as LuGina. I ran from the question…Why are you so black? Boldly I faced those who played the same game with me. Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me. I remember being rejected by boys who now chase me as men.  So I decided to put Black Magic and my back thinking to draw the attention of some however not more than a few and my grandmother dealt gracefully with me understanding my body was carrying a wounded soul that my spirit wanted to lift. She asked, “Come here baby why do you have black magic on the back of all your clothes?” As if I had sometime type of power to make everyone aware that I was present. I’ll never forget as if it was an hour ago, the day I broke past all the whispers, insecurities, and self-condemnation I played in my own mind because of what others thought about me, and was birthed into having the capacity and embrace my true journey to be. She continued to say and challenged me to believe another thought, and I quote, ” You don’t need to tell anybody you are black or have any magic, for you are the magic that your black skin carries. Your black is beautiful all by itself. Everywhere you go be known!” My God, Jesus today, I can still run on that one right there. Her grace for handling me brought me to a place within myself where I now identify the discovery of being fulfilled of my own needed supply.

Failing to Acknowledge Negative Thought Patterns

Acknowledge negative thought patterns.
The first step toward overcoming negative thoughts is to become aware of them. Negative thoughts frequently appear as recurrent patterns or thoughts about ourselves and the abilities we possess. These ideas may encompass everything from concerns about our worth and ability to a fear of failure and rejection. By giving awareness to the thoughts that occur in our subconscious, we can begin to identify and decide what to make of them.

  • Romans 12:2 (NIV) – “Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.”
  • Philippians 4:8 (NIV) – “Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.”

 

Declaration

"I declare that I am my own supply, 
equipped with the abundance and resources needed to fulfill my every need and desire.
I rely not on external sources but on the boundless reservoir of strength, creativity, 
and resilience within me. With unwavering faith and self-assurance, 
I affirm that I possess the power to manifest my dreams and create the life I envision. 
I am the source of my own fulfillment, prosperity, and joy." 
-Pastor LuGina AKA Pookie

Failing to Question the Validity of Negative Ideas

After we’ve identified adverse patterns of thought, the next step is to examine their validity. We must question the authenticity and integrity of these ideas by asking ourselves critical questions. Are these ideas supported by factual information, or are they warped perspectives shaped by previous encounters or insecurities? By questioning the truth of our negative beliefs, we can begin to dismantle their influence on us and achieve a more balanced perspective.

  • 2 Corinthians 10:5 (NIV) – “We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.”
  • Proverbs 3:5-6 (NIV) – “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.”

 

Fail to Develop Positive Self-Talk

Replacing negative ideas with positive self-talk is a vital component of eradicating negative mental habits. Instead of harshly criticizing and doubting ourselves, intentionally we can decide to speak to ourselves as we do others with kindness, compassion, and encouragement. Affirmations and inspiring declarations can be effective antidotes to negative self-talk, rewiring our brains for positivity and resilience.

  • Ephesians 4:29 (NIV) – “Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.”
  • Psalm 19:14 (NIV) – “May these words of my mouth and this meditation of my heart be pleasing in your sight, Lord, my Rock and my Redeemer.”

 

Failing to Have to Need support and Accountability

Challenging negative beliefs can be a tough endeavor, especially when we try to do so alone. Accepting guidance from a self-empowerment coach or a trustworthy friend might help you gain perspective as well as reinforcement. A mentor may assist us in recognizing and confronting costly beliefs, providing suggestions on establishing positive self-talk that is beneficial, as well as holding us accountable for taking actions toward self-empowerment and progress.

 

  • Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 (NIV) – “Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor: If either of them falls down, one can help the other up. But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up.”
  • Proverbs 27:17 (NIV) – “As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another.”

 

Failing to Embrace Growth and Transformation

Challenging negative beliefs is a continual process that involves patience, tenacity, and self-compassion. As we continue to question and conquer negative thought patterns, we free ourselves up to new possibilities and promises. We learn to see ourselves in a new light, appreciating our innate value and capacity. Through this self-empowerment process, we can embrace expansion, and shifts, and realize our highest potential.

  • 2 Corinthians 3:18 (NIV) – “And we all, who with unveiled faces contemplate the Lord’s glory, are being transformed into his image with ever-increasing glory, which comes from the Lord, who is the Spirit.”
  • Romans 8:28 (NIV) – “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.”

 

Declaration

"I declare that I am the abundant source of everything I require to thrive and succeed." 
I'm blessed with the innate ability to manifest my desires, realize my goals, and live the life of plenty and pleasure 
that I deserve. With steadfast self-belief and dedication, I proclaim that I am my own greatest asset, 
capable of generating endless opportunities and blessings in every aspect of the life I have."

 

In Conclusion: The Truth I Know Now

Addressing negative beliefs is a significant step toward self-empowerment and personal development. By noticing, challenging, and replacing negative thinking patterns with positive self-talk, we can liberate ourselves from our own internal limits and uncover an unknown future full of possibility and potential. Let us embrace the process of self-discovery and strength, knowing that we have the power to makeover what lives within.

 

From the Office of Apostle LuGina

Thank you for taking the time to read and grow with me today. My heart is to empower men and women believers, emerging leaders, and anyone ready to rediscover their God-given identity and purpose.

 Explore more in my books — written to inspire, equip, and transform lives through the power of God’s Word:

Stay connected with me and my church family at El Shaddai Worship Assembly, where we are dedicated to Encountering God, Loving People, Leading in Purpose, and Changing Lives. Join us Sundays at 11 AM and Thursdays at 7 PM at 318 N. Church Street, Rockford, IL 61101 or visit https://elshaddaiworshipassembly.com.

🌐 More inspiration, blogs, and resources are always available on my website: https://luginachorton.com.

Together, let’s keep building, thriving, and walking boldly in the life God designed for us.

With love & purpose,
Apostle LuGina C. Horton

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I´m Apostle LuGina

— Empowering lives through faith, purpose, and prophetic transformation. Apostle LuGina is the Founder and Senior Pastor of El Shaddai Worship Assembly in Rockford, IL, and the visionary behind BloomBuildingLives. With an apostolic and prophetic mantle, she empowers believers to encounter God, embrace purpose, and live transformed lives through teaching, mentorship, and community impact.

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